I am

I am stubborn, mischievous, malitious,  wicked, selfish, self-centered, arrogant, decomposed in terms of moral, afraid of being in the dark when I sin, in want of money, in want of fame, duplicitous, liar, false, sarcastic, caustic, evil, brutal, harsh, cold, not a humanitarian, smart-mouthed, sour, bitter, rough, prejudicial,  unforgiving, relentless in my choices, disgusting, charmless, wretched, afraid of responsibility.
I know but Jesus … You would never tell me this, and I am tired of disappointing you. That's what I'm good at, I hold a burning match over this slop of gasoline and I look at you and I see your disapproving face and yet I still drop it in saying 'Ups.' … I am afraid of that fire so I run to You and I ask you, I beg you to put the fire out, to put the sin out of my house… But why do I keep doing this again and again?